my surprise two months after marriage, and my blessing 9 months later
the pat (slap) on the face declaring 'i need a waffle momma' on a Saturday morning
ever ready at the end of a long day when I'm at the end of my rope to see what I have left in me
my little compulsive toddler, who won't listen through the end of a bedtime prayer if the door is even cracked "close the door momma, close the door momma, the door is open momma, close the door momma"
a smile that provides me with a burst of energy no amount of caffeine could
eyes that shine as bright as the night stars, and remind me sweetly, sadly, of her dad
a laugh, even when fake, can bring out joy in anyone who hears it
a constant 'why momma' that is not defiant or rebellious in any way-rather a true desire to understand what is going on, proven by the fact she will repeat the information later when the situation repeats itself
the ever comforting, holding up to her name-sake, with a ready "it'll be okay" and a hug for any person in need
the sneeker of smiles when she's supposed to be pouting (drama queen)
the broadway diva twirling in her dress singing "dancing queen"
the bolloywood diva dancing to the latest (or greatest) movie song all while trying to learn the steps
the lover of books, photography, great music, and great food
the fighter of bedtime cuddled in my arms, and the foot in my back in he middle of the night
who has her mother's inherent love of ice cream and talking
who has her father's ability to eat spices and prefers to take things easy
who has taught me patience, understanding, and how to no longer be on time for anything she is going to
and while I know if the Lord has the days in store for us, we will one day try to find the common ground between the bikini she wants to wear and the burkah I have laid out for her
and while we will most likely not listen to the same music or speak the same language, as most teenagers and parents do not;
I hope that ShE.E. will hold on to the values being taught her today, remember those who love her dearly, and keep the love for life she possesses
Monday, August 17, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
The truth of the truth
As I continue to explore the directives we believers/Christians/Hebrews...pick one....were given, the more it is evident the doctrine being spread in the church today is sad and scary. I am one of the guilty of spreading this false doctrine, so this is in no way a judgment toward people, I am in fact severely humbled and repent daily of my shortcomings and many times poor witness.
While I am no scholar, the issues are apparently obvious due to the fact we have a constant search for truth by those who suggest they believe it. Our hearts, minds, and spirits continue to be parched because regardless if it's a church pew or a gymnasium folding chair-where there is salt water there is still thirst.
One of the major issues we face is the plain fact we are not attempting to be separate/holy. This is perhaps one of the cornerstones of the true doctrine of God. We can see this by the fact a specific people were chosen and they were given the laws by which to live. These were not given to all of humanity, nor were they ever changed when the gentiles were the target audience. From "old" to "new" testament it has always been, and always will be the "law" for the children of Israel and the alien who lives among them. Hence whey we gentile believers are GRAFTED into the vine.
And this idea that the church has become blind is not even something newly born. The very people who were waiting on Moses to return (and when he did he had the very instructions from YHWH/God) were down at the bottom of the mountain running crazy around some golden calf! The fact is, humans have regularly disregarded the Lord and the ways of the most high. We see this through the history of the Israelites-but it was always repentance and the word being sought which brought about the grace and blessings from the Lord. Always the people managed to stray, always they managed to repent (and generally when the pain from their sin was evident), and always was the Lord faithful with forgiveness and instruction. From cover to cover this is the way it has worked. If it has worked for the chosen people and the gentiles before us, it will surely do wonders for the church today.
Now, the idea that believers are called to be separate isn't highly disputed in the church from my experience. Rather, the church seems to have slowly but surely changed the definition of separate. Whether out of confusion, convenience, or compromise-fact is it is just wrong and needs to be repented of. Even as I write this I can name a number of ways I have not yet separated myself, but I'm working on that, and daily I pray for spirit to convict me when I'm blurring the line, and for adonai to point out things I am not yet aware. As I said, this is not a judgment as we are all guilty and fall short. It is by simply reading the charge to the people of Israel and Paul's writings as well as examining the true life Yeshua/Jesus led, I can find the needle in the haystack of lies which have piled up. This is the key though, isn't it? The truth has been, and is, and will always be right there within the book I read. The church needs to go back to reading. We need to go back to what was really going on before the 1st/2nd generation church began to slip. We need to stop believing the lies which have been passed down from generation to generation which tells us the sabbath is no longer holy, that Yeshua changed the way we are to serve YHWH, and we can essentially live as close to the world as we want so long as we at some point are willing to SAY we believe in Yeshua Messiah. It is a very scary, dangerous, and painful path the church is on and I thank God the call to repentance is being heard loud and clear by Jew and Gentile.
While I am no scholar, the issues are apparently obvious due to the fact we have a constant search for truth by those who suggest they believe it. Our hearts, minds, and spirits continue to be parched because regardless if it's a church pew or a gymnasium folding chair-where there is salt water there is still thirst.
One of the major issues we face is the plain fact we are not attempting to be separate/holy. This is perhaps one of the cornerstones of the true doctrine of God. We can see this by the fact a specific people were chosen and they were given the laws by which to live. These were not given to all of humanity, nor were they ever changed when the gentiles were the target audience. From "old" to "new" testament it has always been, and always will be the "law" for the children of Israel and the alien who lives among them. Hence whey we gentile believers are GRAFTED into the vine.
And this idea that the church has become blind is not even something newly born. The very people who were waiting on Moses to return (and when he did he had the very instructions from YHWH/God) were down at the bottom of the mountain running crazy around some golden calf! The fact is, humans have regularly disregarded the Lord and the ways of the most high. We see this through the history of the Israelites-but it was always repentance and the word being sought which brought about the grace and blessings from the Lord. Always the people managed to stray, always they managed to repent (and generally when the pain from their sin was evident), and always was the Lord faithful with forgiveness and instruction. From cover to cover this is the way it has worked. If it has worked for the chosen people and the gentiles before us, it will surely do wonders for the church today.
Now, the idea that believers are called to be separate isn't highly disputed in the church from my experience. Rather, the church seems to have slowly but surely changed the definition of separate. Whether out of confusion, convenience, or compromise-fact is it is just wrong and needs to be repented of. Even as I write this I can name a number of ways I have not yet separated myself, but I'm working on that, and daily I pray for spirit to convict me when I'm blurring the line, and for adonai to point out things I am not yet aware. As I said, this is not a judgment as we are all guilty and fall short. It is by simply reading the charge to the people of Israel and Paul's writings as well as examining the true life Yeshua/Jesus led, I can find the needle in the haystack of lies which have piled up. This is the key though, isn't it? The truth has been, and is, and will always be right there within the book I read. The church needs to go back to reading. We need to go back to what was really going on before the 1st/2nd generation church began to slip. We need to stop believing the lies which have been passed down from generation to generation which tells us the sabbath is no longer holy, that Yeshua changed the way we are to serve YHWH, and we can essentially live as close to the world as we want so long as we at some point are willing to SAY we believe in Yeshua Messiah. It is a very scary, dangerous, and painful path the church is on and I thank God the call to repentance is being heard loud and clear by Jew and Gentile.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
As we know it
Muslims, Jews, and Christians alike all have an "end times" scenario. All are fairly similar in text. All include wars, famine, and all-around craziness. Therefore, as people react to things such as suicide bombings, launched rockets, and military strikes from one nation to another....those who say they believe in their religion ought, then to be able to take acceptance in the events of today.
On one hand, I am saddened and outraged at the violence which is taking place in many parts of the world. The human side of me hates to see it, wants political interference to bring diplomacy and understanding to involved parties. Yet, the spiritual side of me says that although it's a travesty, it's going to happen....and get worse.
Looking at things from a spiritual point of view can be the "easy" way out to some people. To simply shrug one's shoulders and accept what's going on makes people think you don't care. It can also be boring. No offense, but analyzing situations, trying to find ways to if not solve than defuse a situation, and the energy spent conversing with people can all be rather mentally stimulating. However, even that brings no change does it. To sit and argue or discuss who is and who is not at fault, discuss who should be doing what is fun and at times engaging....but the end result is still the same. Regardless of looking through the world through spiritual or worldly eyes, 99.99% of us in the world can only do the following: respect and love our neighbors, care for the poor/widows/orphans, and pray. We only have the ability to live OUR lives properly, and only have the ability to show people G-d by love and patience.
It is my hope, for 2009 and however much time I have left...that I will not focus on the why's, who's, and how's...because quite frankly none of that is in my control. And regardless of who I would believe is at fault, I'm still commanded to love them anyway.
And if it is all bound to happen...then only my blood pressure and attitude toward others can be ruined. Better for me to be a light in the world than a raging fire.
Regardless of what is going on in one part of the world or another-those who will commit heinous acts will do so with my disapproval, or my understanding. And they will be judged accordingly...just as I will if I don't obey what I've been commanded to do.
On one hand, I am saddened and outraged at the violence which is taking place in many parts of the world. The human side of me hates to see it, wants political interference to bring diplomacy and understanding to involved parties. Yet, the spiritual side of me says that although it's a travesty, it's going to happen....and get worse.
Looking at things from a spiritual point of view can be the "easy" way out to some people. To simply shrug one's shoulders and accept what's going on makes people think you don't care. It can also be boring. No offense, but analyzing situations, trying to find ways to if not solve than defuse a situation, and the energy spent conversing with people can all be rather mentally stimulating. However, even that brings no change does it. To sit and argue or discuss who is and who is not at fault, discuss who should be doing what is fun and at times engaging....but the end result is still the same. Regardless of looking through the world through spiritual or worldly eyes, 99.99% of us in the world can only do the following: respect and love our neighbors, care for the poor/widows/orphans, and pray. We only have the ability to live OUR lives properly, and only have the ability to show people G-d by love and patience.
It is my hope, for 2009 and however much time I have left...that I will not focus on the why's, who's, and how's...because quite frankly none of that is in my control. And regardless of who I would believe is at fault, I'm still commanded to love them anyway.
And if it is all bound to happen...then only my blood pressure and attitude toward others can be ruined. Better for me to be a light in the world than a raging fire.
Regardless of what is going on in one part of the world or another-those who will commit heinous acts will do so with my disapproval, or my understanding. And they will be judged accordingly...just as I will if I don't obey what I've been commanded to do.
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