One Fine Day

There's probably all sorts of poetic ways to describe heartache and sadness. I don't find those two things very poetic so I won't bother to romanticize anything of that nature. The poetry for me comes with the healing and the warmth of God's love despite the rejection from people.

I find myself completely shocked, perhaps it's my controlling nature which causes me to live in a cloud of disbelief that my life has taken the path it has. Whatever the reason, I switch back and forth from complete depression and utter numbness. Anger has a place-but I don't want to stay there because I have to move on, if not now then eventually and the anger won't let me truly do that.

I am a believer that time heals all wounds-I just wish time would move faster because right now I feel like my life is in slow motion and I am begging to get out. What choice do I have, though, but to live as life has declared? If it was up to me it wouldn't be happening like this, would it, so how I can now think I have any control is just foolish.

I haven't bothered to treat God respectively, to ask for his comfort now seems hypocritical and laughable. I won't deny, though, I pray constantly He will hold my heart gently and provide peace as I am sad and alone.

Current situation aside for a moment; I feel I have led myself to this disastrous end by living in "hope" under the guise of commitment and/or love. My stupidity rings loud and true as I realize I did not heed to the warnings I received so so many times. Trust in your heart is over rated when someone else's' is untrustworthy. How do you control someone else' outlook on life? You can not, you can only offer a brighter picture and hope they will also see it. Too bad for me it didn't work that way. Mostly....my poor daughter.