Chocolate soy milk and raw spinach

Since control is my biggest issue (mentally), I've decided to take control of my second and third biggest issues. I have become disgusted with how lazy I have become and how bad my diet has become (okay, it wasn't great, except when I was overseas). I have made commitments to myself, to God, and to Ezzah to better myself. Since your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being tends to be connected......I figure it won't be easy, as each of these areas needs drastic overhaul; but I know it's possible. I have begun with first cutting caffeine to almost nill. Aside from chai (which I don't drink tons of, especially in the summer) I figure that the idea of also getting rid of sweets will also then take care of soda.....and therefore the caffeine thing will be dealt with. I'm not pretending I will never have a soda or something sweet from here on out...I'm not stupid.....but I know myself, and in order for anything to do any good I have to say "buss" (enough)....it's how I've managed to stop other bad habits. (mostly thanks to getting pregnant!) I have maintained the 'don't bring sweets into the house' rule. I'll not deny wishing I had something sometimes while I'm up late at night, but that's part of the problem isn't it. I've replaced eating cereal for random meals with raw spinach, eggs, and other more healthy foods. I've also begun my road to getting off of dairy. To get used to the taste of soy milk again I've got some chocolate soy milk. Now, I realize that's sweet, but I don't think it will do quite match up to ice cream or some other sweets that I could come up with. Plus, I don't expect I'll just sit down and drink several gallons of chocolate milk down! I don't expect any of this to be easy, but I'm attempting a lifestyle change rather than the latest diet. I've lived as such before, overseas......so I know it's possible. I know my body is not my own, and therefore I need to care for it appropriately.

Two babies

I am gone. I feel as if I'm learning life almost completely over again. I can no longer know I'll be somewhere at a certain time, no matter how hard I try. To be on time means to be quite early, or risk being late. Running to the store now takes FOREVER! (and that's if I decide going to the store is worth it). It's amazing to me, I am hardly the person I was a few months ago. I find myself trying desperately to hang on to certain things, but that is just getting silly. I love Ezzah, she makes me laugh.....most of the time. If I am wanting to do something, or get somewhere, or whatever......I almost get irritated...not with her...just over the loss of control. The parallel is I won't go to the store, or will leave sooner, if Ezzah is really tired or got woken up, or basically anything.....so, I want to do what I want, but I also won't put my daughter out, so there's even more control out the window. It's all part of adjusting to becoming a parent at 30,and not when I was looking for it. I was pretty set in my ways, and enjoying it. I'm learning to enjoy being a mother....and as Ezzah shows more personality, and learns/does something new I enjoy it more, and forget I'd like to go wonder around Wal-Mart for no reason. It's all an adjustment....and it's daily thing.

My personal fitness trainer

(Tv commercial for latest diet pill opening)
Are certain parts of your body a bigger problem? (my reply) YEAH, MY MOUTH!

When it comes to weight loss, the "after" picture of the fat guy is always what people hope to obtain. Of course on ALL of the commercials if you read the fine print it says "results not typical". Hmmmm. It seems that weight loss should be typical for diet pills!

I would love to take a pill and have a wonderful "after" picture. The fact of it all, I don't need to start taking pills, I need to stop taking resees peanut butter cups!!! While I have started walking in the evenings, it doesn't do much good if I'm walking myself up to the store to purchase a tasty coffee beverage. I don't do it all the time, but still, we're not looking to maintain a weight, we're looking to lose it.....

Guess I'll go do some baby reps. By that, I mean, I bench press my 17.5lb (she's just been weighed) baby....15 times, repeat 3x. Hey, whatever works!!!! and she LOVES it.

Let's get it started.......

Anyone who has had any conversation with me knows how hot I get when it comes to the illegal immigration issues that have been in our faces lately. I am quite opinionated when it comes to what I think about the situation. Depending on who you are....I sound like a crazy racist, or a lunatic.....maybe one or two people think I make any sense. Then, I watched this lady on C-SPAN2 today who makes me look more diplomatic than Jimmy Carter!

This woman is going on and on about the radical Islamic craziees in the world. She's got a lot of facts and figures HOWEVER...this lady is ready to not allow ANY Muslim in the country, and throw those that are already here into some sort of determent camp (she's not saying this specifically, but man, she's going nuts!) The amount of hate coming from her "educated" speech is amazing. While some of what she says is quite valid, she seems to think she's going to be able to get the govt. to stop the spread of radical Islam in this and any other country!

My thoughts through this speech are that no matter who you are or what religion, one can spread fear, hate, and irrational ideology very easily. Sometimes people get brushed off with only negatively affecting a few lives....others have an affect that ripples to thousands, million, or more. I am sadden we live in a world where people JUST can't seem to get along unless they look, think, and act alike......and then I wonder if that's not on purpose. From a spiritual scope of it (not to be obnoxious), the tower of babel was built, and the gospel reaching "every tribe and tongue" is thought to be a sign of the end times to most evangelical Christians. Which means God separated people, then made it a big deal when His word would reach from one people group to another despite language and geographical barriers. Therefore, in all my loving other cultures and people.....had man not been of conquering nature....would we even know each other the way we do now? I mean, would I be married to a Pakistani, or would my friend be half white, half Filipino, or another half Irish, half Mexican? Basically, aside from those carrying God's word, wouldpeople have come together.......therefore, is it inherent since the fall of man that we aren't going to get along?