Eye opener

Most are aware of one of my jobs being at a coffee shop. It's not even quite that cool-it's a college coffee shop...and not a cool college. Not the point though.

I see all sorts of people, and the fact the public aid/dept.of human services office is in the same complex-some of these people need to be educated, but all of them need to be loved. It's probably the next depressing daily allowance of reality I've gotten since living in a "developing" country. I'm serious. From babies born to women who are incredibly unfit and obviously don't care about having such a gift (and I can understand not thinking it such a "gift")-to older people who have a hard time just making it out of bed daily. It's just person after person who break my heart each shift. I've seen all this one at a time.....an uncaring parent at the grocery store, and elderly person struggling over how to write a check at the checkout line.....it's all over.

Then there's this one woman. She's got Parkinson's disease.......and it's BAD! I've seen people with hand shakes and stuff.....and it's minimal to medium. This poor woman, however, I just....I don't know how she still functions-and sometimes I can tell she doesn't. She has the hardest time keeping anything in grasp, and watching her walk, you can see she manages by the grace of God. I've never seen anything like this. My heart melts every time I see her. I'm amazed at what this disease is capable of doing to someone. Unlike certain situations....those who feel like failures, or unloved, you can offer them kind words, develop a relationship....etc. etc. For those who struggle due to age or other disabilities, you can offer assistance physically-helping them with their chores, etc. For this woman....I was at a loss. What do you do for someone in this condition. Obviously you pray-but your heart breaks and you don't feel like that's enough.

I think of the second coming-end of the world-whatever is going to happen first, and honestly, sometimes my heart is saddened. I realize this isn't a Christian way to think-and I'll admit it's the "carnal" part of me who can't fathom being in the presence of God, not missing my family/friends, not even realizing what I've left. Then, I realize it's incredible selfish of me to wish for a second for another moment w/o Jesus' return, when there are so many who just await that moment for their life to be not hell. (no joke intended).

I miss my husband, and I think daily of the possibility of never seeing him again. Perhaps it'll be due to being called home...perhaps something sad.....I love my daughter-and am thankful for the joy she's brought into my life. I can't imagine getting up everyday and facing what so many people who have horrible parents, disabling diseases, living in sever poverty.....I just can't imagine how they get up and go about their day.