All in a day's work

I have FINALLY found work. Two part time jobs. An income is an income most times, and I'm thankful for it. I'm not at McDonalds or any other fast food joint, so I'm happy about that too! (although I didn't find myself above that). Today we went and visited Ezzah's daycare. The one teacher that was there as late as we were was very nice and LOVED seeing Ezzah (who charmed her the whole time). The children in there are adorable! I'll admit, I'm a little nervous. As much as I pretend I'm not, there's a sneak of anxiety running through my stomach. I don't really fear she's going to end up screwed up or anything-I don't really know what it is actually. I guess it's part of the whole new motherhood thing. I try to keep myself above what I see a lot of new mother's go through-not that I think they are stupid-but I guess I feel I shouldn't be as nervous since I'm older and have had more experience around so many children. There is definately a difference when it's your own though isn't there? Maybe I worry about how she'll be treated, I'm not going to deny it's difficult caring for more than one child at a time, and sometimes children have worse days than other. I don't know how Ezzah will respond to being in a completely different environment, and if she doesn't react well-it's understandable they won't be able to spend the time with her that I have been. Perhaps this just means I'm normal. I don't feel my daughter requires or deserves anything better than any other child-AT ALL, and perhaps if she was older and a little more independent I wouldn't worry so much...she could occupy herself and such. At this point, she has whomever is caring for her to interact with.....I realize I sound like a freak-and I'm trying not to because I really don't think I'm freaking out. I'm simply having some anxiety and trying to figure it out. She's a good baby, and I believe there's a lot of good that can come of her being around other children...definitely. I guess I just hope she adjusts positively, and quickly!


I am glad for the work, and I'm glad to have found what seems like a good daycare. And I'm also glad to have found Ezzah a good Ped. The stress from mother-hood SUUUUCCCKKKSS though :)