Sunday, July 1, 2007

My life on the D-List

While I have always enjoyed moving and having the "new" of a new place/town/city, this recent move to Southern Illinois just doesn't have that same feeling. Really, it's been since last July when I returned to the states that relocating just didn't have that new car smell it used to. Perhaps because of the circumstances that brought me home last year, and the fact I have felt like I'm someones responsibility, while having someone as my responsibility. Also, returning to the states was not quite a "hey, I want to do this now", rather an "aww crap, now I gotta do this". Regardless of all the reasons behind it, fact is, I am incredibly lonely here in S. Illinois, and it has made me miss Usama all the more. All things aside from mine and Usama's issues last summer, we really are incredibly close.
I have moved so many times in my life, and as I get older, it gets more difficult from an emotional point of view because I have developed wonderful relationships over the last few years. With this current situation, however, I am not in a position to make friends, and therefore I miss my friends even more. I am attempting to adjust (my new favorite word), and hope this separation from Usama doesn't last much longer. While I know as Christians we are never "alone" yet can experience "loneliness"..and while I'm sure some people may or may not agree with this cliche, I see the point, and I am trying to keep this in mind.

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