I have discovered there is absolutely no way to prepare for having a child. Or, at least, not with a bunch of other crap going on. I thought I was more than ready to get back to work (don't get me wrong, I'm sooo happy), however, not having a clue that life was about to beat the crap out of me I just happily skipped back into the real world. In hindsight I should have been putting myself (and Ezzah) on some sort of schedule, cause we are both looking around like WTF!?
Ezzah spends all day at daycare, which she seems to LOVE. The people seem to really enjoy her, and are totally in awe that a 6 month old simply power naps through the day (20/30 min naps...2/3 times a day). She's definitely a handful in that regard, because once up....she's not one to spend a lot of time self-entertained.
I pick her up in the afternoon/evening, and I feel so guilty that I want only to hang out with her and spend some time. This leaves EVERYTHING else to wait....and then by the time she goes to bed (8), I am also exhausted. Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining here....my point...I was NO WAY prepared for this...and I'm incredibly disorganized at these days.
Ezzah is a doll, and I love watching her everyday. Her expressions, her newness of exploration, and her ability to demand of me what no one else could ever possibly......full attention. I'm going to need an illegal worker to keep everything in order if this continues!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
All in a day's work
I have FINALLY found work. Two part time jobs. An income is an income most times, and I'm thankful for it. I'm not at McDonalds or any other fast food joint, so I'm happy about that too! (although I didn't find myself above that). Today we went and visited Ezzah's daycare. The one teacher that was there as late as we were was very nice and LOVED seeing Ezzah (who charmed her the whole time). The children in there are adorable! I'll admit, I'm a little nervous. As much as I pretend I'm not, there's a sneak of anxiety running through my stomach. I don't really fear she's going to end up screwed up or anything-I don't really know what it is actually. I guess it's part of the whole new motherhood thing. I try to keep myself above what I see a lot of new mother's go through-not that I think they are stupid-but I guess I feel I shouldn't be as nervous since I'm older and have had more experience around so many children. There is definately a difference when it's your own though isn't there? Maybe I worry about how she'll be treated, I'm not going to deny it's difficult caring for more than one child at a time, and sometimes children have worse days than other. I don't know how Ezzah will respond to being in a completely different environment, and if she doesn't react well-it's understandable they won't be able to spend the time with her that I have been. Perhaps this just means I'm normal. I don't feel my daughter requires or deserves anything better than any other child-AT ALL, and perhaps if she was older and a little more independent I wouldn't worry so much...she could occupy herself and such. At this point, she has whomever is caring for her to interact with.....I realize I sound like a freak-and I'm trying not to because I really don't think I'm freaking out. I'm simply having some anxiety and trying to figure it out. She's a good baby, and I believe there's a lot of good that can come of her being around other children...definitely. I guess I just hope she adjusts positively, and quickly!
I am glad for the work, and I'm glad to have found what seems like a good daycare. And I'm also glad to have found Ezzah a good Ped. The stress from mother-hood SUUUUCCCKKKSS though :)
I am glad for the work, and I'm glad to have found what seems like a good daycare. And I'm also glad to have found Ezzah a good Ped. The stress from mother-hood SUUUUCCCKKKSS though :)
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
www.apostlepaul.blogspot.com
If "Christianity" were taking off today, I don't believe we'd be reading the letters from Paul to the Ephesians. We'd be reading his daily blog as he traveled from country to country. While he was in prison his lawyers would be doing press conferences as to his daily status, and he'd be making collect phone calls to Barbara Walters to make sure that everyone knew what he was going through. It would be televised daily on Court TV as to what was happening to him. I don't believe this to be true only if he was in the U.S.,I've read some interesting blogs from people in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia.
This is what my behavior is based on. As Christians, a major part of our behavioral mindset is based on letters from one guy (Paul,Timothy, etc.) to a bunch of people. Letters to the editor have more audiences than these people's did, until the were published into what is now known as The New Testament. I'm not bashing my faith by any means. Matter of fact, it's not my faith I'm refering to specifically, rather the way in which we act out our faith. I can imagine how different preaching would be if the only thing "christians" had were the gospels and the "Old Testament". Most Christians don't even have an understanding what purpose the Old Testament serves.
So many times the Bible has been translated, yet while we've updated the language, we've not updated the leaders of faith. I'm not applying to do this job, just making an observation. If someone decided that we were going to replace the books following the gospels with more current teachings, I wonder who would make the list. First, we have a whole world now to enter the race. Second, I wonder what teachings would be obsolete Are there any Christians of any culture who would still tell women to keep their mouth's shut and ask their husbands any questions they had when they got home. Assuming of course it is only married women who go to church! Third, who would be accepted. While I mentioned the whole world could enter the race.....are there any mainstream teachers from across the globe respected in the U.S. We know it would be the U.S. that would spearhead this thing if it were to be respected! And HE would be a republican! We do have priorities.
If I look at my faith, I realize the only facts I would be willing to argue in some sort of court of law would be Jesus' 'Messiah-ship', and the story of His life and being in the gospels. I don't know that I find a lot of other things FACTS so much as advice for the current times of the spread of Christianity.
Jews, Christians, and Muslims all stake their lives on the same thing....faith. I have three keys on my key ring. One goes to my mother's car....it's a Chrysler, and the key has the Chrysler symbol...so there's no arguing what make of car it belongs to. The other two are copied house keys. They look very similar in shape. One opens the door to my mother's house, the other to my grandparents house. Only because I have used them enough do I know which goes where...but if you ask which goes where you would believe me assuming I know what I'm talking about. It's not until you were to actually open one of the doors would you personally know. I believe my faith is not like the car key, but like the house key. Thousands of years after the creation of the earth, thousands of years after the man we know as Jesus walked the earth, I'm sure I'm going to find out some things were not quite the way I've read them, but I will find out which key I hold. Metaphor aside, I live by faith.
A friend of mine said once, had she been born and raised in a different country she probably would not have grown up Christian...rather, perhaps a Muslim, or a Hindu. Everyone lives by faith, and at some point it becomes their own. Theirs to experience and share.
This is what my behavior is based on. As Christians, a major part of our behavioral mindset is based on letters from one guy (Paul,Timothy, etc.) to a bunch of people. Letters to the editor have more audiences than these people's did, until the were published into what is now known as The New Testament. I'm not bashing my faith by any means. Matter of fact, it's not my faith I'm refering to specifically, rather the way in which we act out our faith. I can imagine how different preaching would be if the only thing "christians" had were the gospels and the "Old Testament". Most Christians don't even have an understanding what purpose the Old Testament serves.
So many times the Bible has been translated, yet while we've updated the language, we've not updated the leaders of faith. I'm not applying to do this job, just making an observation. If someone decided that we were going to replace the books following the gospels with more current teachings, I wonder who would make the list. First, we have a whole world now to enter the race. Second, I wonder what teachings would be obsolete Are there any Christians of any culture who would still tell women to keep their mouth's shut and ask their husbands any questions they had when they got home. Assuming of course it is only married women who go to church! Third, who would be accepted. While I mentioned the whole world could enter the race.....are there any mainstream teachers from across the globe respected in the U.S. We know it would be the U.S. that would spearhead this thing if it were to be respected! And HE would be a republican! We do have priorities.
If I look at my faith, I realize the only facts I would be willing to argue in some sort of court of law would be Jesus' 'Messiah-ship', and the story of His life and being in the gospels. I don't know that I find a lot of other things FACTS so much as advice for the current times of the spread of Christianity.
Jews, Christians, and Muslims all stake their lives on the same thing....faith. I have three keys on my key ring. One goes to my mother's car....it's a Chrysler, and the key has the Chrysler symbol...so there's no arguing what make of car it belongs to. The other two are copied house keys. They look very similar in shape. One opens the door to my mother's house, the other to my grandparents house. Only because I have used them enough do I know which goes where...but if you ask which goes where you would believe me assuming I know what I'm talking about. It's not until you were to actually open one of the doors would you personally know. I believe my faith is not like the car key, but like the house key. Thousands of years after the creation of the earth, thousands of years after the man we know as Jesus walked the earth, I'm sure I'm going to find out some things were not quite the way I've read them, but I will find out which key I hold. Metaphor aside, I live by faith.
A friend of mine said once, had she been born and raised in a different country she probably would not have grown up Christian...rather, perhaps a Muslim, or a Hindu. Everyone lives by faith, and at some point it becomes their own. Theirs to experience and share.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Confessions of a music lover
I was reminded recently what my intention for going to college was...I wanted to work in the record industry. No, seriously. I wanted to be the next great music guru in Christian music. No, I'm friggin serious. That got me thinking about how out of it I am on the music scene, unless it comes from India or Pakistan I just don't know what I used to. I was once someone who knew at least 80.775% of what was on the radio (my Friends would hit seek, and I knew pretty much everything). Now, well, I'm still living by my old standbys. Here are a few things to admit (or brag about).
Concerts I am ashamed I saw, but hey, they were popular:
Rick Astley, Boys 2 Men, McHammer, Color Me Bad
Concerts that I still relish:
PFR (more than once), U2 (at Wimbley Stadium, UK), Jal, DC Talk, Out of Eden, Clint Black, Beach Boys (hey, they were fun!)
One of the moments I'll never forget at a concert: (okay, two)
I took second place in a gargling contest before one of the concerts
Salmund Rushdie came out on stage at the U2 show
My radio weakness:
I can put scan on and listen to it for HOURS without getting annoyed. I've done this while driving cross country, it's fun.
Fav Christian cd's/bands (to name a few only):
Audio Adrenaline's "Bloom"/DC Talk "Jesus Freak and "Supernatural"/Grits/The Waiting/Chris Rice/POD/Raving Loonatics/Steve Taylor/Cindy Morgan/Nicole Nordamen/Rich Mullins/Lil Raskull
Fav non-Christian (a few):
Jal/Ali Zafar/Strings/DMB/James Taylor/Fleetwood Mac/Queen/Run DMC/Cranberries/Natalie Merchant/Dixie Chicks (before they got ousted)/Indian Film Songs/Almost all the "Afro-Celt Soundsytems" cd's
Okay...I'll admit.....I totally rocked out to Spice girls the other day!
zig a zig aaahhhh
Here's perhaps one of THE BEST re-makes of a song I've ever heard. I'm not a fan of them generally, but perhaps it's the magic that I think U2 is, or the blend of Ireland and the ghetto, but whatever...I love it!
Concerts I am ashamed I saw, but hey, they were popular:
Rick Astley, Boys 2 Men, McHammer, Color Me Bad
Concerts that I still relish:
PFR (more than once), U2 (at Wimbley Stadium, UK), Jal, DC Talk, Out of Eden, Clint Black, Beach Boys (hey, they were fun!)
One of the moments I'll never forget at a concert: (okay, two)
I took second place in a gargling contest before one of the concerts
Salmund Rushdie came out on stage at the U2 show
My radio weakness:
I can put scan on and listen to it for HOURS without getting annoyed. I've done this while driving cross country, it's fun.
Fav Christian cd's/bands (to name a few only):
Audio Adrenaline's "Bloom"/DC Talk "Jesus Freak and "Supernatural"/Grits/The Waiting/Chris Rice/POD/Raving Loonatics/Steve Taylor/Cindy Morgan/Nicole Nordamen/Rich Mullins/Lil Raskull
Fav non-Christian (a few):
Jal/Ali Zafar/Strings/DMB/James Taylor/Fleetwood Mac/Queen/Run DMC/Cranberries/Natalie Merchant/Dixie Chicks (before they got ousted)/Indian Film Songs/Almost all the "Afro-Celt Soundsytems" cd's
Okay...I'll admit.....I totally rocked out to Spice girls the other day!
zig a zig aaahhhh
Here's perhaps one of THE BEST re-makes of a song I've ever heard. I'm not a fan of them generally, but perhaps it's the magic that I think U2 is, or the blend of Ireland and the ghetto, but whatever...I love it!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Obviously I've learned to post video!
One of my favorite memories of Lahore is Basant. Lahore is so well-known for being "THE" place to be that the President spends Basant down there. Some of these pics are better than others, but it's a great job done by whomever did this. Also, the song is by a band called "Strings" and they are a favorite of mine. Lastly, a couple of my own photos, including our "action shot" looking out at the kites :)
An unknown music genius
Steven Taylor is perhaps one of the BEST lyricist in Christian music OF ALL TIME! He doesn't do much now in the forefront, but if you're a fan of anyone on Squint Entertainment...that's his label (or was). I could post every video of his, but I'll leave it to just this one (so far), because aside from the awesomeness of this song, the video is just wild! I know it's long, but it's worth the watch.
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