It's more than the suits and chinese rice

I have met so many women who have the "typical" mother-in-law relationship with their husband's mother. I have also met many Pakistani women who have their own version of a "typical" mother-in-law relationship with their own. I am sad for them. All of them. I don't know how they manage, but I guess since it seems universal to have some 'typical' relationship I guess it's a universal acceptance. My experience with marriage has turned out to be pretty shotty, but my experience with my mother in law has been (and continues to be) something which almost leaves me speechless.

From the moment I met Tahera Rauf she was the most hospitable and caring person. When she was just "aunty" she looked out for my safety, my diet (made me non-spicy food), and shared a lot of great moments with me. When she became "ammi" she was all of that, and more. Her support, willingness to listen, and the wonderful times of going out and about became as important to me during my stay in Pakistan than anything else. While I would not have chosen to stay in Pakistan long term, the situation demanded and being with her made it much easier. Obviously we don't agree on EVERYTHING, but those times have been few and far between that our disagreements caused any sort of issue, and never have they caused bitterness of any kind.

How this woman has managed to maintain her sanity in the last couple of years with all the garbage going on around her has amazed me. A woman of more determination and strength than I think she is even aware of; she shows me daily that patience is key to handling anything! She has supported me, cared for me, and been there for me more than I have time to explain. While the sadness of losing her as my mother-in-law sets in regularly, I am always reminded that she never really has been my "mother in law", rather, my Pakistani mother-and that can not be changed by someone else.