Two babies

I am gone. I feel as if I'm learning life almost completely over again. I can no longer know I'll be somewhere at a certain time, no matter how hard I try. To be on time means to be quite early, or risk being late. Running to the store now takes FOREVER! (and that's if I decide going to the store is worth it). It's amazing to me, I am hardly the person I was a few months ago. I find myself trying desperately to hang on to certain things, but that is just getting silly. I love Ezzah, she makes me laugh.....most of the time. If I am wanting to do something, or get somewhere, or whatever......I almost get irritated...not with her...just over the loss of control. The parallel is I won't go to the store, or will leave sooner, if Ezzah is really tired or got woken up, or basically anything.....so, I want to do what I want, but I also won't put my daughter out, so there's even more control out the window. It's all part of adjusting to becoming a parent at 30,and not when I was looking for it. I was pretty set in my ways, and enjoying it. I'm learning to enjoy being a mother....and as Ezzah shows more personality, and learns/does something new I enjoy it more, and forget I'd like to go wonder around Wal-Mart for no reason. It's all an adjustment....and it's daily thing.