As we know it

Muslims, Jews, and Christians alike all have an "end times" scenario. All are fairly similar in text. All include wars, famine, and all-around craziness. Therefore, as people react to things such as suicide bombings, launched rockets, and military strikes from one nation to another....those who say they believe in their religion ought, then to be able to take acceptance in the events of today.

On one hand, I am saddened and outraged at the violence which is taking place in many parts of the world. The human side of me hates to see it, wants political interference to bring diplomacy and understanding to involved parties. Yet, the spiritual side of me says that although it's a travesty, it's going to happen....and get worse.

Looking at things from a spiritual point of view can be the "easy" way out to some people. To simply shrug one's shoulders and accept what's going on makes people think you don't care. It can also be boring. No offense, but analyzing situations, trying to find ways to if not solve than defuse a situation, and the energy spent conversing with people can all be rather mentally stimulating. However, even that brings no change does it. To sit and argue or discuss who is and who is not at fault, discuss who should be doing what is fun and at times engaging....but the end result is still the same. Regardless of looking through the world through spiritual or worldly eyes, 99.99% of us in the world can only do the following: respect and love our neighbors, care for the poor/widows/orphans, and pray. We only have the ability to live OUR lives properly, and only have the ability to show people G-d by love and patience.

It is my hope, for 2009 and however much time I have left...that I will not focus on the why's, who's, and how's...because quite frankly none of that is in my control. And regardless of who I would believe is at fault, I'm still commanded to love them anyway.
And if it is all bound to happen...then only my blood pressure and attitude toward others can be ruined. Better for me to be a light in the world than a raging fire.

Regardless of what is going on in one part of the world or another-those who will commit heinous acts will do so with my disapproval, or my understanding. And they will be judged accordingly...just as I will if I don't obey what I've been commanded to do.

a new...old...tradition

I've freaked out quite a few people lately with two declarations; first, I am no longer celebrating Christmas, and second I will begin celebrating Hanukkah this year. The first wasn't the most shocking as I've pretty much always been disgusted by the materialism and nastiness that comes forth this time of year-but I had always enjoyed being with friends/family which is also a result of the holiday season. However, my stance on no longer celebrating Christmas is directly related to my choosing to celebrate Hanukkah.

I wouldn't call myself "Jewish" in the culturally understood sense of the word, and I wouldn't say I've "converted" exactly. If you've read my previous post you will understand, however, where I am (or at least understand I'm in a process). My decision has to do with celebrating with family. When we accept Christ we are told we are now "grafted in the vine"...we have, in essence, been adopted into God's chosen people. We are now part of a bigger family. Which, in itself is incredibly exciting! So, while Hanukkah isn't one of the celebrations dictated by God, it is one which my "family" commonly celebrates-and it's one that it seems Jesus celebrated (and again, if it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for his followers). Perhaps I don't HAVE to celebrate it, it's just a celebration of a historical event which I'm still learning and understanding about. And, like Christmas, it can fall into the a category of materialism and nastiness if one chooses. I don't choose that.

I have been part of a family in another culture. I know what it's like to be included in events, celebrations, customs which I am not accustomed to in my "whiteness". I know the excitement of being asked to be part of something which traditionally doesn't include outsiders; not because they aren't welcome, but rather because they usually aren't around or interested. Being brought into some one's family and accepted as one of their own is exciting, and a learning experience. When I was in Pakistan I learned I enjoyed wearing shalwar kameese, I found new foods, music, and various other cultural institutions which I thoroughly enjoyed. How much greater to be adopted into God's people!? For all of my pride in my Pakistani experience, I should (and do) have a greater pride in learning who I truly am by being a "Christian". Celebrating Hanukkah is simply celebrating with my family-and learning to be included in their ways. Not celebrating Christmas, I believe, is being obedient to God's desire for us to not be like the world. Not to adopt celebrations and customs which are anti-God (having learned that just about EVERYTHING in the "Christmas" celebration derives from pagan celebrations and the real reason someone decided Jesus was born on Dec. 25th was more because Christians wanted something to do themselves during this time of year rather than be set-apart as commanded.

I like what the author of "Restoration" has to say (I can't remember his name right now). To sum it up, he says it's not about pointing a finger at the "church", rather it's just time for the "church" to understand where we come from and where we belong and to right the wrongs which have become our faith. I surely believe that and I'm not running around forbidding my folks to put up their Christmas stuff-and I haven't become some crazy lady at work when they put up the decorations. More because I've always accepted I live in the world and things will happen around me which I differ of opinions on-and that's okay (despite what you may think :) ) I am, however, excited and encouraged about what I've been learning and where I believe God is taking me. I'm excited to start a new tradition, especially with Ezzah. I'm excited to learn more about the history of the family I've been adopted into.

I'm currently finishing up a book which gives a really good historical account of the season...and let me tell you...not only is Jesus NOT the reason, but He would have nothing to do with what's going on in the "church" by all accounts. Rather, he was (and most likely be) at a synagogue.

Some are still a little freaked out, some will disagree, and some will not be surprised...but all in all-Happy Holidays

Fog lifted

About a year or so ago I was introduced to understanding how to live "Torah observant". This meaning as a Christian, we are meant to live according to the Law (or instruction) as pointed out by God in the "old testament". At first, I was interested in learning of this mindset-then as I began to study I found that this is NOTHING NEW! Matter of fact, it's how Jesus lived, it's how the disciples who walked with Him were trained, how they were told to go forth, and how the immediate believers in the Messiah also lived. So, seemed like there was no question.

And there's not, in my mind.

The only question which has come to mind are
1) How did I not figure this out (my answer to myself is I wasn't studying the Bible as I should have been, or I probably would have noted certain things)

Other than that, there's just pure joy and enlightenment. I don't mean the kind when you read a verse and although it's been in front of you a hundred times, it suddenly speaks out....no, it's the kind of enlightenment where I have found that IT ALL makes sense (pretty much). This is because until now I was reading it through the wrong mentality. We today can thank history to where we have arrived, but of course I believe we have no excuse to not move in the right direction.

What I've noticed, also, is it's not too hard. Aside from remembering this and that which comes with learning anything-I don't feel overwhelmed or completely bogged down by trying to figure things out. There's nothing to figure out....less to interpret or try to fit into my understanding. This is not because I'm some brain or deep thinker, rather...because I believe this is just how it's meant to be and when we are told the yolk is easy.....it is.

Lastly, I have a theory that perhaps the reason why the "church" has become so broken, so confused, constantly trying to find "it" is because the "church" is not going to find contentment until it comes BACK to the way God set things up. And that's pretty clear when you read how the Israelites wondered....and wondered...and wondered. We aren't, I believe, meant to "fit" into society, we aren't meant to try to find the latest, greatest slogan, time to worship, way to worship, hair cut, clothing style....and everything else. The church has spent too much time trying to fit the secular into the faith and has forgotten we are meant to be set apart. I believe also, perhaps, if we were to go back to the way set out for us we wouldn't have the struggles we do within ourselves. Again, the parallel between the Israelites and us is amazing. When we aren't following in God's plan, we are going to be wondering.

There are many, many verses, examples, etc. which can (and probably should be) quoted. But the one and best example I feel necessary is the fact that it was good enough for our Savior. He followed the ways of the Torah....and therefore seems if I'm meant to try to be like him, I should live as He did, or at least as He taught us to (since I am not perfect and never will be)

I am still learning about this, but I'm just in awe at how much it all fits. We are said to be grafted in the vine...and like in any scenario where one is coming into a a different culture there is much to be learned, but when you are with family-it's all good.

No other gods

My recent political decisions has, among other things, risen quite a concern with those whom I've spoken to. While I don't walk around offering my opinion unsolicited, when asked who I will vote for, and I say "no one" and when asked "why" I tell them "because I don't believe it's my place" WAH!? As the sign outside the Baptist church, and the guy on the radio said-if Christians don't vote we will face the consequences. Hhmmmm. I live in a society which feels that this country is only valuable if it lives by, pick a version, Biblical standards. Most people I come across seem to be Americans who are Christian. This concerns me. Many feel it is our duty to protect our country by making sin illegal. Of course, this is all based on which sin they are most concerned with. In a statement, I believe Christians are not meant to be part of what is going on in the land beyond sharing the gospel and loving their neighbor. I believe the Bible is explicit about the idea of God's people and their roles on the earth. I also believe when Christians decide their job is not in the government, they may start doing a better job in the Church. Far too long has the government been covering the slack of the Church. Here's where I find my evidence:

1. The Israelites were given the priests and had their "government" set before them by God. The leaders were chosen in the way God deemed proper. Then, the people demanded a King "just like the other guys" until God finally relented. Despite His warnings....they just had to be like the other guys. We can look throughout history and see how this has essentially done the people of the Lord no good what so ever.

2. Not even the Messiah was brought in as a political/military leader. THE SAVIOR OF ALL MANKIND WAS NOT A POLITICIAN! Isn't this amazing. It was, rather, someone who focused on behavior, relationship, teaching, loving, healing, listening, feeding...etc. etc. Obviously this can't be done through political/military rule, not sufficiently anyway-because I bet God knew what He was doing.

3. We are commanded to not only take the word into the world, but the disciples were also told that if someone did not listen, shake the dust from their sandals (obviously none of this is in quotations). There is not one mention of "go into a town and demand laws to form a sinless nation". Perhaps because God knew that wouldn't work?

4. We are commanded to be set apart. I don't believe this simply means don't use naughty words and watch nasty TV (and go to Church every other night of the week). If one studies the "Old Testament" and sees where this concept comes from, it's quite apparent that the people of the Lord are meant to be concerned with living for him, not being concerned with what's going on on the outside.

5. Just because a law legalizes something, doesn't mean the believer has to do it! Therefore, it stands to argue that just because laws get passed doesn't mean one's faith has to suffer. We are going to change people's lifestyles simply by passing some law, it just means they'll live it/do it differently......but they'll still live it.


6. Once we begin taking the way the rights of people in a "free" country, we head down a road which will lead to our own rights being taken away. If you begin saying that voting based on religious ground is acceptable, once the Christian is no longer the majority, guess what? Don't come crying when you have to wear a scarf, or can't wear a cross.

7. If you want the government to stay out of the Church, don't put the Church in the government. Just as the government forefathers which so many people like to quote (although they rarely really can) were not all quite the brand of Christianity many of the evangelicals would believe in and/or approve of...neither are all of the politicians...so why on earth would you put your faith in their hands? The Church has a job, and it's not in the government.

8. Even if it leads to losing our "rights"...the fact is, we are not promised rights, we are actually told to praise God when persecuted in Jesus name. Evangelical Christians in America have been spoiled beyond belief. This isn't for lack of energy. They've managed to prosecute, kill, chase away, and force change from virtually any group who believes something slightly different than their version. (again, even some of their beloved forefathers would fall into this by today's standards). We are the majority because we have forcefully made sure of that.

9. It's what the forefather's wanted. For those who just can't get over what the founding fathers intended....they intended to be able to worship as they pleased....(see # 7) (and not pay taxes on sugar)

My list could go on, but I won't continue for the moment. Mainly because I'm quite sleepy. I do believe we are commanded to follow the laws of the land, and I am not saying I am in hope of losing my ability to worship when/where I want.....but if I lose that right by man...that won't change what I do. Goes both ways.

The next victim

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/lahore-cultural-capital-to-taliban-territory/378300/0

I am saddened. I said for the last few years I never belied Lahorees could allow the Taliban (or the like) to have any control over them. They like their hookah, movies, shopping, and arts too much. Yet, the last few months there has been story after story of the recent attack on the souls of such a wonderful city. I am taken to a place of curiosity as to how/why this could be happening, as in the past people have managed to let the strong minded know they are not interested in this dirty, nasty brand of their religion. What has changed? Have doors opened thanks to the "democracy" which brought in the bandits and thieves of the past (and, er, um, wife murders). Is this what happens when a "dictator" is taken out office, is it time to ponder if a military leader in a dangerous state isn't something to consider. Or, perhaps it is the rising cost of living and the inability for the basic necessities to be obtained by an even greater number of people than before? Is it the desperation of a society who has been facing constant power failure, job losses (due a lot to decreasing global interest) and new detachment from a society (the U.S.) which they felt for at least a short amount of time could offer some assistance? Or, is it a generation which became so materialistic and more concerned with which concert or fashion show is next they forgot the people in the land they live around and are now being slapped in the face by those who are both morally opposed, and some I assume are jealous. (let's face it, there is a HUGE amount of people belonging to the moral police who themselves would make satan look like mother Teresa).

Whatever the reasons to why things have gotten to the place they are, I believe they are not too far gone and the people of not only Lahore, but also Pakistan, can turn their country around. It will take the politicians, police, and the elite getting their heads out of the ground and call a time-out on the corruption world series in order to put the country and people first. It will also take the military realizing that what part they did play in all the training in the past (which they've admitted too) has turned around to bite them on the ass. While the people committing these atrocities now are not the same folk, they are most likely being trained (brainwashed) by those directly or indirectly associated with those of the previous movement.

Since Afghanistan offers a perfect and very real understanding as to what can happen when you think the craziees have the right ideas, I believe at least SOME people in Pakistan will indeed take up martial arts, guns, stones, whatever it takes to protect themselves (see article)-however in a country which has won trophies for their protests/riots it could lend to unimaginable and inevitable deterioration of a country already on the brink of disaster on other fronts. I miss Lahore, but I regret I'll be missing the Lahore I USED to know. To all those stuck there, and to all those who have no idea they are about to be pistol whipped....my prayers and thoughts are with them.

Supposed lightweight

If you have the USA network on for even 5 min a day you see the constant advertisment for the show about the chick who was divorced and is moving on with her life. I don't recall the name of it, but it's got Debra Messing as well as a large well-known cast. Seeing these commercials, and being remindng about just about every other broken heart movie....I'm noticing a pattern, and realizing I as usual have a very different take on a particular concept. Healing from a broken heart is a personal matter. People have different scenarios in life which lead to a saddness they never believed htey could feel. Perhaps it's a death in the family, a break up with a partner, or the loss of a child.....most will say they never thought they'd feel that kind of pain-and for a moment or more thought they'd never feel better. Of course, eventually most people do heal. Some take longer than others, but they get there. What's interestng to me is what seems to be the blanket understanding of what "he/she's finally able to move on" means in regards to a breakup/divorce. I wonder why the point at which many will feel someone has healed from such an occurance it's when that person is now dating again. I realize this may not be how people in real life believe and it's a misrepresentation in the name of entertainment....but I lean on the side that this representation is fairly accurate. Why is this? Is it that inherant belief in most people that we all have to be with someone to be happy or normal? Perhaps they are judging life as a whole based on their own lives....and they would not feel whole or healed until they were with another person.

I really started to think about this tonight as I was listening to a fairly new album by a Pakisani band "Fuzon" for the first time. I had been wanting to hear it since I read about it while still abroad, but never got around to it, and online is now the only chance I have. As the first song wound it's way through my mind I REALLY missed Pakistan and my life there. The lead singer has (compared at least to American singers) a very distinct sound, and as he gently delivered word and melody my mind was taken back to listening to their first album with my family and various experiences where such enjoyment was taking place. All in all I do alright with my newly permanent status, honestly more because of the complete change in scenery and nothing here to specifically remind me of anything-but listening to what I find to be a really great album I realize I'm not quite where I thought I was and perhaps I need to take time to get to where I'd like to be. I do know, however, it won't be dating which tells me I've "moved on". I think perhaps being able to fully enjoy one of my many favorite Pakistani bands, or watch one of my many favorite Bollywood DVD's and enjoy it pain-free will tell me I'm set. However, I will ALWAYS await excitedly every week for my weekend conversation with my ex mother in law....I pray to never move on from those.

A role for a pro

I have taken the same steps throughout my lifetime. Granted, it's only been 31 years. I wonder if this is the same for everyone-or do people's lives change so drastically it's as if they've learned a whole knew way to walk.

Don't get me wrong-this is not a pity entry. I'm not whining, it's merely something I've noticed. At first, I thought my life was full of adventure. I liked to think that I was always embarking on something new because I was just that wild and crazy gal desiring and willing to try something....ANYTHING. I have recently realized that I have simply followed in the footsteps left by my parents. This is shocking and a bit disturbing, but I believe good has and will come out of it.

Lately I have seen the one thing I never wanted too badly end in ruins. What is most distracting about this is that it's true that sometimes you don't know how great something is until you've lost it. For me, it was not knowing how great something was until I had it and was quite happy-and then I lost it and am still a bit stunned. I will admit I've lost a bit of who I was in the process. Somewhere over the vast mountains and oceans I have been flying over lays pieces of what made me ambitious, a thinker, a dreamer. I find myself almost mentally lazy now. I have one goal-to take care of my daughter. I do everything in my power to not think of anything else. This includes great amounts of T.V. watching to keep myself distracted by what I am feeling, thinking...and, at times, regretting. I've never believed regret was healthy, I still don't, but it's there and I must avoid it at all costs. Keeping my mind silent keeps me from realizing how much I miss my life, my friends, my family, even some of myself.

These are the steps of my parents...these are the steps I've been taking my whole life without trying. The steps of constant failure. The steps of not holding something together. The steps of being consistently inconsistent. I am amazed as I look back down the path of my life, and now I wonder if I can avoid those prints left before me or if they are my destiny.