Monday, August 17, 2009

shE.E.

my surprise two months after marriage, and my blessing 9 months later

the pat (slap) on the face declaring 'i need a waffle momma' on a Saturday morning

ever ready at the end of a long day when I'm at the end of my rope to see what I have left in me

my little compulsive toddler, who won't listen through the end of a bedtime prayer if the door is even cracked "close the door momma, close the door momma, the door is open momma, close the door momma"

a smile that provides me with a burst of energy no amount of caffeine could

eyes that shine as bright as the night stars, and remind me sweetly, sadly, of her dad

a laugh, even when fake, can bring out joy in anyone who hears it

a constant 'why momma' that is not defiant or rebellious in any way-rather a true desire to understand what is going on, proven by the fact she will repeat the information later when the situation repeats itself

the ever comforting, holding up to her name-sake, with a ready "it'll be okay" and a hug for any person in need

the sneeker of smiles when she's supposed to be pouting (drama queen)

the broadway diva twirling in her dress singing "dancing queen"

the bolloywood diva dancing to the latest (or greatest) movie song all while trying to learn the steps

the lover of books, photography, great music, and great food

the fighter of bedtime cuddled in my arms, and the foot in my back in he middle of the night

who has her mother's inherent love of ice cream and talking

who has her father's ability to eat spices and prefers to take things easy

who has taught me patience, understanding, and how to no longer be on time for anything she is going to

and while I know if the Lord has the days in store for us, we will one day try to find the common ground between the bikini she wants to wear and the burkah I have laid out for her

and while we will most likely not listen to the same music or speak the same language, as most teenagers and parents do not;

I hope that ShE.E. will hold on to the values being taught her today, remember those who love her dearly, and keep the love for life she possesses

Saturday, May 30, 2009

The truth of the truth

As I continue to explore the directives we believers/Christians/Hebrews...pick one....were given, the more it is evident the doctrine being spread in the church today is sad and scary. I am one of the guilty of spreading this false doctrine, so this is in no way a judgment toward people, I am in fact severely humbled and repent daily of my shortcomings and many times poor witness.

While I am no scholar, the issues are apparently obvious due to the fact we have a constant search for truth by those who suggest they believe it. Our hearts, minds, and spirits continue to be parched because regardless if it's a church pew or a gymnasium folding chair-where there is salt water there is still thirst.

One of the major issues we face is the plain fact we are not attempting to be separate/holy. This is perhaps one of the cornerstones of the true doctrine of God. We can see this by the fact a specific people were chosen and they were given the laws by which to live. These were not given to all of humanity, nor were they ever changed when the gentiles were the target audience. From "old" to "new" testament it has always been, and always will be the "law" for the children of Israel and the alien who lives among them. Hence whey we gentile believers are GRAFTED into the vine.

And this idea that the church has become blind is not even something newly born. The very people who were waiting on Moses to return (and when he did he had the very instructions from YHWH/God) were down at the bottom of the mountain running crazy around some golden calf! The fact is, humans have regularly disregarded the Lord and the ways of the most high. We see this through the history of the Israelites-but it was always repentance and the word being sought which brought about the grace and blessings from the Lord. Always the people managed to stray, always they managed to repent (and generally when the pain from their sin was evident), and always was the Lord faithful with forgiveness and instruction. From cover to cover this is the way it has worked. If it has worked for the chosen people and the gentiles before us, it will surely do wonders for the church today.

Now, the idea that believers are called to be separate isn't highly disputed in the church from my experience. Rather, the church seems to have slowly but surely changed the definition of separate. Whether out of confusion, convenience, or compromise-fact is it is just wrong and needs to be repented of. Even as I write this I can name a number of ways I have not yet separated myself, but I'm working on that, and daily I pray for spirit to convict me when I'm blurring the line, and for adonai to point out things I am not yet aware. As I said, this is not a judgment as we are all guilty and fall short. It is by simply reading the charge to the people of Israel and Paul's writings as well as examining the true life Yeshua/Jesus led, I can find the needle in the haystack of lies which have piled up. This is the key though, isn't it? The truth has been, and is, and will always be right there within the book I read. The church needs to go back to reading. We need to go back to what was really going on before the 1st/2nd generation church began to slip. We need to stop believing the lies which have been passed down from generation to generation which tells us the sabbath is no longer holy, that Yeshua changed the way we are to serve YHWH, and we can essentially live as close to the world as we want so long as we at some point are willing to SAY we believe in Yeshua Messiah. It is a very scary, dangerous, and painful path the church is on and I thank God the call to repentance is being heard loud and clear by Jew and Gentile.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

As we know it

Muslims, Jews, and Christians alike all have an "end times" scenario. All are fairly similar in text. All include wars, famine, and all-around craziness. Therefore, as people react to things such as suicide bombings, launched rockets, and military strikes from one nation to another....those who say they believe in their religion ought, then to be able to take acceptance in the events of today.

On one hand, I am saddened and outraged at the violence which is taking place in many parts of the world. The human side of me hates to see it, wants political interference to bring diplomacy and understanding to involved parties. Yet, the spiritual side of me says that although it's a travesty, it's going to happen....and get worse.

Looking at things from a spiritual point of view can be the "easy" way out to some people. To simply shrug one's shoulders and accept what's going on makes people think you don't care. It can also be boring. No offense, but analyzing situations, trying to find ways to if not solve than defuse a situation, and the energy spent conversing with people can all be rather mentally stimulating. However, even that brings no change does it. To sit and argue or discuss who is and who is not at fault, discuss who should be doing what is fun and at times engaging....but the end result is still the same. Regardless of looking through the world through spiritual or worldly eyes, 99.99% of us in the world can only do the following: respect and love our neighbors, care for the poor/widows/orphans, and pray. We only have the ability to live OUR lives properly, and only have the ability to show people G-d by love and patience.

It is my hope, for 2009 and however much time I have left...that I will not focus on the why's, who's, and how's...because quite frankly none of that is in my control. And regardless of who I would believe is at fault, I'm still commanded to love them anyway.
And if it is all bound to happen...then only my blood pressure and attitude toward others can be ruined. Better for me to be a light in the world than a raging fire.

Regardless of what is going on in one part of the world or another-those who will commit heinous acts will do so with my disapproval, or my understanding. And they will be judged accordingly...just as I will if I don't obey what I've been commanded to do.

Monday, December 15, 2008

a new...old...tradition

I've freaked out quite a few people lately with two declarations; first, I am no longer celebrating Christmas, and second I will begin celebrating Hanukkah this year. The first wasn't the most shocking as I've pretty much always been disgusted by the materialism and nastiness that comes forth this time of year-but I had always enjoyed being with friends/family which is also a result of the holiday season. However, my stance on no longer celebrating Christmas is directly related to my choosing to celebrate Hanukkah.

I wouldn't call myself "Jewish" in the culturally understood sense of the word, and I wouldn't say I've "converted" exactly. If you've read my previous post you will understand, however, where I am (or at least understand I'm in a process). My decision has to do with celebrating with family. When we accept Christ we are told we are now "grafted in the vine"...we have, in essence, been adopted into God's chosen people. We are now part of a bigger family. Which, in itself is incredibly exciting! So, while Hanukkah isn't one of the celebrations dictated by God, it is one which my "family" commonly celebrates-and it's one that it seems Jesus celebrated (and again, if it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for his followers). Perhaps I don't HAVE to celebrate it, it's just a celebration of a historical event which I'm still learning and understanding about. And, like Christmas, it can fall into the a category of materialism and nastiness if one chooses. I don't choose that.

I have been part of a family in another culture. I know what it's like to be included in events, celebrations, customs which I am not accustomed to in my "whiteness". I know the excitement of being asked to be part of something which traditionally doesn't include outsiders; not because they aren't welcome, but rather because they usually aren't around or interested. Being brought into some one's family and accepted as one of their own is exciting, and a learning experience. When I was in Pakistan I learned I enjoyed wearing shalwar kameese, I found new foods, music, and various other cultural institutions which I thoroughly enjoyed. How much greater to be adopted into God's people!? For all of my pride in my Pakistani experience, I should (and do) have a greater pride in learning who I truly am by being a "Christian". Celebrating Hanukkah is simply celebrating with my family-and learning to be included in their ways. Not celebrating Christmas, I believe, is being obedient to God's desire for us to not be like the world. Not to adopt celebrations and customs which are anti-God (having learned that just about EVERYTHING in the "Christmas" celebration derives from pagan celebrations and the real reason someone decided Jesus was born on Dec. 25th was more because Christians wanted something to do themselves during this time of year rather than be set-apart as commanded.

I like what the author of "Restoration" has to say (I can't remember his name right now). To sum it up, he says it's not about pointing a finger at the "church", rather it's just time for the "church" to understand where we come from and where we belong and to right the wrongs which have become our faith. I surely believe that and I'm not running around forbidding my folks to put up their Christmas stuff-and I haven't become some crazy lady at work when they put up the decorations. More because I've always accepted I live in the world and things will happen around me which I differ of opinions on-and that's okay (despite what you may think :) ) I am, however, excited and encouraged about what I've been learning and where I believe God is taking me. I'm excited to start a new tradition, especially with Ezzah. I'm excited to learn more about the history of the family I've been adopted into.

I'm currently finishing up a book which gives a really good historical account of the season...and let me tell you...not only is Jesus NOT the reason, but He would have nothing to do with what's going on in the "church" by all accounts. Rather, he was (and most likely be) at a synagogue.

Some are still a little freaked out, some will disagree, and some will not be surprised...but all in all-Happy Holidays

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Fog lifted

About a year or so ago I was introduced to understanding how to live "Torah observant". This meaning as a Christian, we are meant to live according to the Law (or instruction) as pointed out by God in the "old testament". At first, I was interested in learning of this mindset-then as I began to study I found that this is NOTHING NEW! Matter of fact, it's how Jesus lived, it's how the disciples who walked with Him were trained, how they were told to go forth, and how the immediate believers in the Messiah also lived. So, seemed like there was no question.

And there's not, in my mind.

The only question which has come to mind are
1) How did I not figure this out (my answer to myself is I wasn't studying the Bible as I should have been, or I probably would have noted certain things)

Other than that, there's just pure joy and enlightenment. I don't mean the kind when you read a verse and although it's been in front of you a hundred times, it suddenly speaks out....no, it's the kind of enlightenment where I have found that IT ALL makes sense (pretty much). This is because until now I was reading it through the wrong mentality. We today can thank history to where we have arrived, but of course I believe we have no excuse to not move in the right direction.

What I've noticed, also, is it's not too hard. Aside from remembering this and that which comes with learning anything-I don't feel overwhelmed or completely bogged down by trying to figure things out. There's nothing to figure out....less to interpret or try to fit into my understanding. This is not because I'm some brain or deep thinker, rather...because I believe this is just how it's meant to be and when we are told the yolk is easy.....it is.

Lastly, I have a theory that perhaps the reason why the "church" has become so broken, so confused, constantly trying to find "it" is because the "church" is not going to find contentment until it comes BACK to the way God set things up. And that's pretty clear when you read how the Israelites wondered....and wondered...and wondered. We aren't, I believe, meant to "fit" into society, we aren't meant to try to find the latest, greatest slogan, time to worship, way to worship, hair cut, clothing style....and everything else. The church has spent too much time trying to fit the secular into the faith and has forgotten we are meant to be set apart. I believe also, perhaps, if we were to go back to the way set out for us we wouldn't have the struggles we do within ourselves. Again, the parallel between the Israelites and us is amazing. When we aren't following in God's plan, we are going to be wondering.

There are many, many verses, examples, etc. which can (and probably should be) quoted. But the one and best example I feel necessary is the fact that it was good enough for our Savior. He followed the ways of the Torah....and therefore seems if I'm meant to try to be like him, I should live as He did, or at least as He taught us to (since I am not perfect and never will be)

I am still learning about this, but I'm just in awe at how much it all fits. We are said to be grafted in the vine...and like in any scenario where one is coming into a a different culture there is much to be learned, but when you are with family-it's all good.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

No other gods

My recent political decisions has, among other things, risen quite a concern with those whom I've spoken to. While I don't walk around offering my opinion unsolicited, when asked who I will vote for, and I say "no one" and when asked "why" I tell them "because I don't believe it's my place" WAH!? As the sign outside the Baptist church, and the guy on the radio said-if Christians don't vote we will face the consequences. Hhmmmm. I live in a society which feels that this country is only valuable if it lives by, pick a version, Biblical standards. Most people I come across seem to be Americans who are Christian. This concerns me. Many feel it is our duty to protect our country by making sin illegal. Of course, this is all based on which sin they are most concerned with. In a statement, I believe Christians are not meant to be part of what is going on in the land beyond sharing the gospel and loving their neighbor. I believe the Bible is explicit about the idea of God's people and their roles on the earth. I also believe when Christians decide their job is not in the government, they may start doing a better job in the Church. Far too long has the government been covering the slack of the Church. Here's where I find my evidence:

1. The Israelites were given the priests and had their "government" set before them by God. The leaders were chosen in the way God deemed proper. Then, the people demanded a King "just like the other guys" until God finally relented. Despite His warnings....they just had to be like the other guys. We can look throughout history and see how this has essentially done the people of the Lord no good what so ever.

2. Not even the Messiah was brought in as a political/military leader. THE SAVIOR OF ALL MANKIND WAS NOT A POLITICIAN! Isn't this amazing. It was, rather, someone who focused on behavior, relationship, teaching, loving, healing, listening, feeding...etc. etc. Obviously this can't be done through political/military rule, not sufficiently anyway-because I bet God knew what He was doing.

3. We are commanded to not only take the word into the world, but the disciples were also told that if someone did not listen, shake the dust from their sandals (obviously none of this is in quotations). There is not one mention of "go into a town and demand laws to form a sinless nation". Perhaps because God knew that wouldn't work?

4. We are commanded to be set apart. I don't believe this simply means don't use naughty words and watch nasty TV (and go to Church every other night of the week). If one studies the "Old Testament" and sees where this concept comes from, it's quite apparent that the people of the Lord are meant to be concerned with living for him, not being concerned with what's going on on the outside.

5. Just because a law legalizes something, doesn't mean the believer has to do it! Therefore, it stands to argue that just because laws get passed doesn't mean one's faith has to suffer. We are going to change people's lifestyles simply by passing some law, it just means they'll live it/do it differently......but they'll still live it.


6. Once we begin taking the way the rights of people in a "free" country, we head down a road which will lead to our own rights being taken away. If you begin saying that voting based on religious ground is acceptable, once the Christian is no longer the majority, guess what? Don't come crying when you have to wear a scarf, or can't wear a cross.

7. If you want the government to stay out of the Church, don't put the Church in the government. Just as the government forefathers which so many people like to quote (although they rarely really can) were not all quite the brand of Christianity many of the evangelicals would believe in and/or approve of...neither are all of the politicians...so why on earth would you put your faith in their hands? The Church has a job, and it's not in the government.

8. Even if it leads to losing our "rights"...the fact is, we are not promised rights, we are actually told to praise God when persecuted in Jesus name. Evangelical Christians in America have been spoiled beyond belief. This isn't for lack of energy. They've managed to prosecute, kill, chase away, and force change from virtually any group who believes something slightly different than their version. (again, even some of their beloved forefathers would fall into this by today's standards). We are the majority because we have forcefully made sure of that.

9. It's what the forefather's wanted. For those who just can't get over what the founding fathers intended....they intended to be able to worship as they pleased....(see # 7) (and not pay taxes on sugar)

My list could go on, but I won't continue for the moment. Mainly because I'm quite sleepy. I do believe we are commanded to follow the laws of the land, and I am not saying I am in hope of losing my ability to worship when/where I want.....but if I lose that right by man...that won't change what I do. Goes both ways.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The next victim

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/lahore-cultural-capital-to-taliban-territory/378300/0

I am saddened. I said for the last few years I never belied Lahorees could allow the Taliban (or the like) to have any control over them. They like their hookah, movies, shopping, and arts too much. Yet, the last few months there has been story after story of the recent attack on the souls of such a wonderful city. I am taken to a place of curiosity as to how/why this could be happening, as in the past people have managed to let the strong minded know they are not interested in this dirty, nasty brand of their religion. What has changed? Have doors opened thanks to the "democracy" which brought in the bandits and thieves of the past (and, er, um, wife murders). Is this what happens when a "dictator" is taken out office, is it time to ponder if a military leader in a dangerous state isn't something to consider. Or, perhaps it is the rising cost of living and the inability for the basic necessities to be obtained by an even greater number of people than before? Is it the desperation of a society who has been facing constant power failure, job losses (due a lot to decreasing global interest) and new detachment from a society (the U.S.) which they felt for at least a short amount of time could offer some assistance? Or, is it a generation which became so materialistic and more concerned with which concert or fashion show is next they forgot the people in the land they live around and are now being slapped in the face by those who are both morally opposed, and some I assume are jealous. (let's face it, there is a HUGE amount of people belonging to the moral police who themselves would make satan look like mother Teresa).

Whatever the reasons to why things have gotten to the place they are, I believe they are not too far gone and the people of not only Lahore, but also Pakistan, can turn their country around. It will take the politicians, police, and the elite getting their heads out of the ground and call a time-out on the corruption world series in order to put the country and people first. It will also take the military realizing that what part they did play in all the training in the past (which they've admitted too) has turned around to bite them on the ass. While the people committing these atrocities now are not the same folk, they are most likely being trained (brainwashed) by those directly or indirectly associated with those of the previous movement.

Since Afghanistan offers a perfect and very real understanding as to what can happen when you think the craziees have the right ideas, I believe at least SOME people in Pakistan will indeed take up martial arts, guns, stones, whatever it takes to protect themselves (see article)-however in a country which has won trophies for their protests/riots it could lend to unimaginable and inevitable deterioration of a country already on the brink of disaster on other fronts. I miss Lahore, but I regret I'll be missing the Lahore I USED to know. To all those stuck there, and to all those who have no idea they are about to be pistol whipped....my prayers and thoughts are with them.